Working Moms Roundtable: What I Wish My Partner Understood; When You’re the Breadwinner, & More

Collin County Moms Blog recruited a great mix of mothers who work full-time, part-time, or from home, and asked bunch of questions on their thoughts and feelings about the mythical phrase we all love to hate and hate to love, “Work-Life Balance.” Each post focuses on a specific theme related to balance at home, at work, with our partners, with our kids, and with our coworkers. We hope you’ll enjoy and maybe even grab some tips or encouragement for yourself! See the first post here, the second post here, the third post here, and the fourth post here.

I wish my partner understood:

How much I appreciate him and the life we’ve built. He’s always researching various ways to improve our home, our finances, etc. I wouldn’t be half as awesome without him by my side. -Victoria, UX Designer

That my career aspirations have changed since having the girls. -D., Assistant Director

That there’s more pressure than ever to be the perfect mom. -Claudia, Business & Tickets Operations Coordinator

How tired I always am. –Michelle Y., Accounting Associate

That when I want to be alone, it’s not because I don’t enjoy his company. –Brandi, Co-Owner of local boutique

How tired I am and that I don’t get much time to myself.–Madelaine S., Copywriter & Content Specialist

That he comes first; that this whole thing wouldn’t work if it wasn’t for him. -Whitney, Digital Marketing Creative, Managing Editor, Instagram Manager

The difficulties and emotions of feeling like I am letting people down if I can’t do everything for everyone.–Jennifer C., Managing Partner

Work-life balance is…

As good as it’s going to get right now. I’m lucky to not work more than eight hours a day away from my daughter, and I don’t work weekends.–Hannah, Attorney

Harder than I thought it would be.-Claudia, Business & Tickets Operations Coordinator

A myth!–Michelle Y., Accounting Associate

All about staying organized and having a schedule.–Madelaine S., Copywriter & Content Specialist

Non-existent, for me. Nothing goes perfectly all the time; why do women think it should? There will be times that I am stellar at work while missing the mark at home, either with my kids or with my husband. And there’ll be times where the home front is looking great, while something at work is lacking. -Whitney, Digital Marketing Creative, Managing Editor, Instagram Manager

Are you the breadwinner of your family? How do you deal with this “non-traditional” dynamic?

Yes, up until last year I was the breadwinner. My husband joked I was his sugar mama. He changed careers/industries and realized that he would have to put in the time and work his way up. There really was no “dealing with it” because we make choices that make us happier, healthier, and stronger as a family. We are a team; sometimes we work together 50/50 and sometimes one of us has to be stronger for the other person. Now he and I are on equal footing, salary-wise, and we can look into me working less once our little one gets to school…and will need after-school care.–Michelle Y., Accounting Associate

I am the breadwinner and my husband, as far as I can tell, does not mind. He knows that I’ve worked hard to get to my current career position and supports me in any which way he can. –Crystal, Paralegal

I’ve been the “breadwinner” in our family since we’ve been married. It hasn’t [become] a large part in our relationship due to my husband being in [an] odd career transition for a while. At times it stresses him because he thinks he needs to be earning more already so that I am able to stay home, but I know in our future we will switch roles, and then may both work more hours when our kids are older, so we try not to focus or allow others to place emphasis on our “non-traditional” roles.–Sidu, Teacher

It took me a while to get used to not “expecting” my husband to put all the money for our family’s expenses and having to share everything and have the same expectation and responsibility in providing for our family. I am used to it now and I actually like it. I think this also balances our responsibilities at home and when parenting (we are equals and we’re a team, no specific roles or expectations – we both pay, cook, parent, take care of home, etc. in the same %).–Eliza, Director of Operations

It’ll always be back and forth for us. Sometimes, he makes more and provides the medical insurance. And sometimes, I make more and provide the insurance. What gives me peace is that no matter what, it’ll work out. We’ve been through a lot, so to us, it doesn’t matter who makes more or who does more at any given time. -Whitney, Digital Marketing Creative, Managing Editor, Instagram Manager

It was the case for a few months in the past, and we both actually enjoyed the reversal of roles. We are looking at role reversal when the kids are older.–Dhivya, Operations Lead

What about you? What do you wish your partner understood? Are you the breadwinner in your family?

Whitney Reed
Whitney is originally from central Illinois but moved to Texas for love. After enjoying being a single twenty-something in Dallas, she settled down in 2010 and married her college sweetheart (the guy who got her here). She has two sons and a daughter. Whitney works for a major retailer in digital marketing creative, where she has been since 2009. She loves Dallas—the amazing friends she has met here, the Tex Mex, the bluebonnets, the arts and culture, the mild winters, and having lots of family, including her in-laws, one of her sisters, and her favorite uncle, nearby. Her passions include reading, sports, (daydreaming about) traveling, and spending time with friends and family.

1 COMMENT

  1. Really like this! Especially about moms and dads being equal partners in all aspects: work, earning potential, housework, child-rearing, etc. Great post!

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