Confessions from a Recovering Coffee Addict Mama

Hi my name is Sarah and I’m a coffee addict.

Exhaustion and coffee are the inspiration for this blog and maybe some of you can relate. I hope to help others because my “rock bottom” took longer to realize than maybe most.

Coffee has been my best friend since I was in high school. It was there for me through college and all of my jobs in between. Though, I learned from my doctor I needed to “give it up” when I became pregnant with my son Caleb. 

Whoa. Give up coffee? Alright. Let’s see what I can do. 

I don’t remember the specifics but I was told to monitor my caffeine intake. This lead to my first caffeine headache. If you have never had one, the pain is up there with child birth in my opinion. Okay, perhaps I’m being a little dramatic over here, but the pain I felt at the time was before child birth so my pain threshold was not yet reached. I had to really take my time “giving it up” completely when I was pregnant and could not just turn it off cold turkey overnight. I was napping often anyway throughout my pregnancy, so it didn’t seem to be a big deal outside of the headaches. No baby yet! Nap time! 

Fast forward to Caleb’s birth. He technically still “owned” my body since I was able to successfully breast feed, and again, I heard the same “limit your caffeine intake” story.  They told me it shows up in the breast milk. This was BRUTAL. I felt as if the idea of nap time was false advertising.  Baby’s nap time was supposed to be Mommy’s nap time. Right?! I quickly learned “nap time” actually means get sh*t done time. During the day, I was working in a frenzy alone around the house taking care of my precious newborn. Between Caleb’s dad in the service and living 2000 miles away from my own family meant little to no downtime. My energy reserves were depleted and all I craved that boost from a hot cup of joe. 

Must. Drink. Coffee.

I remember when I was finally rejoined with my cup of coffee- it was wheels off ladies. I could not WAIT to get back to the cup- I felt like Super Mom. My body hadn’t had any caffeine in over a year and I could almost hear the crowd cheering when I poured my first sip. You earned this, I thought.. Treat yo’self!

A short time later, I no longer heard cheers when I poured a cup of coffee because there was no such thing as “a” cup. I was having multiple pots of coffee a day.

There’s no such thing as “a” cup

I actually felt like my coffee friend was letting me down, realizing my old faithful coffee pot at home didn’t quite affect me the same way it used to. What’s a mom to do? Cry. (Super Mom doesn’t cry, remember?)

Get. More. Coffee. 

I explained my troubles to a local barista who welcomed me to the new world of espresso shots. (Insert tired mommy light bulb) The discovery that I could actually add extra shots of espresso to my former coffee cup became my new awakening. My upgraded coffee habit was draining my wallet as well. You could say I was a mommy with champagne taste on a diaper budget. I was OUT OF CONTROL, adding 3 to 4 shots, since 1 or 2 shots started to wear off faster than I could get the second load of laundry going and it left me feeling even MORE tired. More tired?! How could this be?!!!

I knew I was in a dangerous place. My caffeine intake was so high, I was afraid of never feeling normal again. Then I thought, what if I wanted to have another baby?! I remembered the caffeine headaches from my pregnancy with Caleb and dreaded going cold turkey from my new addiction. I needed real help. Not the kind my barista could understand. Someone who I could ask why my extra coffee efforts were not working, why I was feeling so tired all the time, and why… I just didn’t feel like myself.

Coffee cup in hand, I made an appointment with my doctor, feeling really silly about it, but in the end, I’m glad I took that step. I learned I was risking caffeine overdose. Relying on caffeine for ongoing energy is dangerous for many reasons that I would like to share with other over whelmed and possibly over caffeinated mamas. 

Caffeine can cause insomnia. With the mid-day coffee time it was hard to fall asleep at night.. though my body was EXHAUSTED.

Dehydration. Not proven from coffee but I was forgetting to drink water throughout the day (if at all) with the amount of coffee I was drinking to replace it.

UTI. Urinary Track Infections. I had reoccurring UTI’s I couldn’t seem to shake and they were THE WORST feeling. I was told caffeine does not cause them but can intensify the symptoms. Personally, it seems like I was taking more trips to the bathroom than changing my son’s diapers! And with the sudden urge “to go” this drove me crazy. It was like a throwback to my third trimester. 

Irritability.

Definitely from what I was experiencing, I was on edge if I did not drink enough coffee and new mom hormones were not helping my case.

Increased heart rate. Fortunately this did not happen to me but I was worried I could have this happen if I kept up my intense caffeine pace! 

Lastly, too much caffeine can ultimately lead to adrenal fatigue that would mask serious health issues.

Well. This was the wakeup call I needed.

At the same time, I learned I was not eating enough nutrient-rich foods. Caffeine and carbohydrates were my main food groups. So, my doctor said it was “Time for a mommy lifestyle makeover.”

Since my doctor visit I have been committed to finding ways to wind-down the amount of coffee. This has taken conscious effort on my part, and I welcome you to follow my journey in my next blog about how to find energy beyond the cup of coffee.. 😉 Because that’s all we are really wanting right? Energy? Recognition beyond that feeling from drinking a good cup of coffee? I have discovered having more energy and being Super Mom does not begin and end with coffee but it starts with the mama holding the cup. We can do anything we set our tired overworked mind’s to. Coffee isn’t the secret hero. It’s all you! 

 

**Photo Credit: Samantha Knight

Sarah Crilley
Sarah Crilley lives in Plano, Texas with her nine-year-old son Caleb, husband Nick, and adopted french bulldog Daisy. They are introducing the newest member of the family, Rocky Elliott the Hedgehog! (Yes . . . Hedgehog) With hands full balancing "working mommy-life", Sarah works full-time managing the team at Real News PR in Dallas. She is a lover of coffee, listening to podcasts, attending community events, social media, and writing! She enjoys connecting and sharing with other moms. Sarah has been a contributor for CCM since October 2016! She loves blogging and plans to incorporate video into some of her posts.

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