When I titled this post, I felt like I’d heard this very “mystical” saying before, so I did a Google search. The results were a Buddha quote, an excerpt from Joe Dirt, and a You Tube video by “Trey Songz”. I will certainly not deliver this much variety or entertainment, but here’s my thoughts.
As a new year approaches, we all inevitably start thinking about LIFE in general and what we hope this year will look like. What last year looked like. For my family, it brought some big changes in my husband’s career, which confirmed that we are staying in Texas. We spent about a year in that miserable limbo thinking that we could be loading the UHAUL and moving….again.
I hesitated to make “big commitments” for fear that we’d be out the door soon. I put décor projects on the back burner. I even looked at houses online in the potential cities we could move to. For me, the UN-certainty was breeding UN-contentment.
This got me thinking about my first job after college, when my company moved me to Brookhaven, Mississippi, population 12,523. (I was terrified to live by myself, for one thing. The first night I moved into my apartment, I realized in the middle of the night I had no way to defend myself, so I put a hammer and a kitchen knife under my bed. I guess my plan was to hit the intruder then stab. Real effective.)
Anyway, I didn’t know a soul, and even worse, the “boy” I was dating, (now my husband) took a job seven hours away in Tallahassee, FL. I remember feeling frozen. At first, I didn’t make much of an effort to meet friends, nor did I invest in my little apartment because I just KNEW that any day now, my boyfriend would be proposing, and I’d be married & moved off in a few months. (HA.) I remember his mom telling me: “Be where you are. Make that darling apartment YOURS. Plant roots. Make friends, get involved. Enjoy that little town.” And you know what, a year and half later when I was moving into my Groom’s apartment, I cried all the way out of Lincoln County. The friends and personal growth I made there was priceless.
There’s no doubt that this area is quite the “melting pot”; I rarely meet someone who was born and raised here. Maybe you moved here for college and just “never left”, maybe you married a Texan, or like me, your husband’s job brought you here and you’d never driven on a six lane highway in your life. Maybe it took a year just to figure out which gosh darn SUBURB to live in and maybe you’ve even had a couple kids. And after years, perhaps it still feels temporary to you. You wait on the next move and tell others “the long term plan is to move closer to HOME”. YA’LL…I’M GUILTY.
You know, “HOME”, where you grew up…“HOME”, where it always smells like a high school football game…”HOME”, where your parents are (and babysitters abound!!!)
But what if we switched our mindset…..and THIS IS HOME?
I’ll admit, when we moved to Texas, I came kicking and screaming. I LOVED Tallahassee. I had an incredible circle of friends, an amazing job, and a wonderful church. So when we got here, I kept trying to “recreate” that. And clearly it wasn’t working. Because no church is the same. No groups of friends are the same. In the back of my mind, I kept thinking we wouldn’t be here long. Eventually, I realized I needed to re-take my mother-in-law’s advice: “Be Where You Are”.
And once I did, I could feel myself breathe a little. I’m not saying it was immediate; but it got me involved in different activities and groups. I discovered the endless things this area has to offer. I found little restaurants we should try. Festivals we should check out. Even my husband felt relief, because he could tell I was more settled. (Imagine the enormous weight of thinking you moved your wife somewhere and she was unhappy most of the time.) The people I’ve met and things I’ve been involved with here have grown and stretched me in ways that no other city could have. Even the Bible affirms: “…He set the times and places they should live” (Acts 17:26)
Please don’t think I’m saying that referring to your “HOMEtown” is a bad thing! Mine will always be “home” to me and hold a special place in my heart. But as Mamas, we set the tone for our family. If we embrace where we are, our families will reap the benefits. I think about how my little guy turned two in lightning speed. And this IS home for him. He’ll go to school here, make traditions here, and probably have his first date here! So really, my true “long term plan” is when HE is 32….and thinks of Plano, Texas…he thinks of HOME.
So shut down Realtor.com and start hanging those pictures on the wall. Explore this amazing area, find your favorite spots and make traditions. Join that Moms Group you keep hearing about. Give your city a piece of your heart and I assure you, it’ll give back.
You’re definitely in the right place if you just follow along Collin County Moms Blog! They have all the info you need about play dates, groups, activities and incredible events in our area to help you start planting those roots!