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What Infertility Took From Me

I try to take every opportunity that I can to fight the stigma that surrounds infertility. I want to flip the script and bring light to this battle, which affects 1 in 8 couples, or about 7.3 million women. Though I’m part of these statistics, I know that this label does not define me. But to be honest, my own infertility journey has completely changed my life and altered the person I am today. Infertility has taken so many things from me and has left much BETTER things in its place (and that’s not even including the baby!). Here are some things that infertility took away:

Photo credit: Ronnica McFarland

Infertility took my need to be in control & gave me resilience

When we first began our journey toward parenthood, I felt like I had it all figured out. We looked at calendars and “planned” a summer baby. Many summers came and went, and still no baby. Dozens of doctors appointments…still no baby. Medications, diagnoses, and needles for YEARS, and still no baby. But little did I know, that with each curve ball we were thrown, we were developing a resilience and faith that we will benefit from forever.

Infertility took my depression & gave me passion

I spent the first part of our infertility journey in a very dark place. Feelings of inadequacy, self-consciousness, and hopelessness flooded my mind. Why couldn’t my body just do what it was designed to do?! It wasn’t long before I made it my mission to find out. I spent hours on end researching my options and literally any information I could find on the topic. Due to this passion I eventually found doctors who would listen and CARE. I finally found answers! Even now, this passion has not subsided and I hope to use what I have learned to help others.

Infertility took my timidity & gave me a voice

I have always been one to be polite, and would smile and nod anytime a doctor would speak to me. I would always assume that medical professionals would have all of the answers. I put blind trust in that fact and kept my mouth shut, even though I knew that something was wrong. What was I thinking?! This is MY body, OUR family…no one was going to fight for this dream as hard as I was willing to. It was then that I found my voice and my ability to advocate for myself and my family. I vowed to always trust my gut and fight for what is best for us.

Infertility took my doubt & gave me hope

“It is unclear if you will ever be able to carry a child,” my doctor announced. I will never forget how I felt in that moment. I could feel my hands gently trembling as I did everything in my power to prevent melting into a puddle of tears on the floor of his office. In the months following, I tried to imagine never being a mother and ultimately refused to accept that idea. Though each negative test was discouraging, there was renewed hope in each new one. I knew that it was going to happen for us one way or another. We learned to practice positive thinking and keep our eyes on the prize.

Infertility took my vulnerability & gave me strength

What they seem to never publish in the statistics is the fact that 100% of people that fight the battle with infertility come out stronger on the other side. During my battle I did hit many low points, but overall I have gained significant strength. I now know that our marriage and our faith can handle anything that life may throw at us. It is a special kind of strength that only 1 in 8 women have, and I am honored to be part of this elite group of superheroes.

So thank you, Infertility, for the resilience, passion, voice, hope, and strength! You can keep all that other stuff; I won’t be needing it back.

If you or a loved one is experiencing infertility, please use these resources to find doctors, support groups, insurance information, and more:

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